Oh, no! They looked me in the eyes!
What am I to do?
Their evil eyes from their porch,
Where the vultures silently cue.
So we walked upon your property.
We stepped upon your lawn.
‘Was it you? Was it?
That broke my plastic swan?’
Oh please give us a break!
Go back inside and drink your tea!
So my dog may trot on your grass
And finally be able to pee
So I may do things that aren’t quite right.
Is it your business to spread?
No! I wasn’t the one!
I didn’t shoot paintballs at your God Damn shed!
Old People, Old People,
What have you done?
Sour milk is on the table
And your cat is on the run.
Will you ever be able to forgive yourselves
In your long hours of the day?
Sitting upon your porch,
Watching the children joyously play.
‘I saw bicycle marks
upon my garage door
Was it you?’
No it wasn’t you old bore!
People watchers, People Watchers,
Can’t you find something to do that’s good?
Than to tell my personal acts
To the entire neighborhood?
I just want to move away,
Far away from the old people
But where ever I go, they’re always there to judge
Especially under God’s steeple
Oh no! A new Lincoln
I’ll be sure to stay away from that!
For if I come within four feet of that car,
I’m sure to get spat at!
Why must your yard be so perfect?
Your driveway newly paved?
Hoping God will see your hard work,
and you will surely be saved?
I’m sure it may be hard
From your porch because of the sun’s glint,
But can’t you find an actual productive activity
In your days of retirement?