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Old People

Old People

Oh, no! They looked me in the eyes!

What am I to do?

Their evil eyes from their porch,

Where the vultures silently cue.

So we walked upon your property.

We stepped upon your lawn.

‘Was it you? Was it?

That broke my plastic swan?

Oh please give us a break!

Go back inside and drink your tea!

So my dog may trot on your grass

And finally be able to pee

So I may do things that aren’t quite right.

Is it your business to spread?

No! I wasn’t the one!

I didn’t shoot paintballs at your God Damn shed!

Old People, Old People,

What have you done?

Sour milk is on the table

And your cat is on the run.

Will you ever be able to forgive yourselves

In your long hours of the day?

Sitting upon your porch,

Watching the children joyously play.

‘I saw bicycle marks

upon my garage door

Was it you?’

No it wasn’t you old bore!

People watchers, People Watchers,

Can’t you find something to do that’s good?

Than to tell my personal acts

To the entire neighborhood?

I just want to move away,

Far away from the old people

But where ever I go, they’re always there to judge

Especially under God’s steeple

Oh no! A new Lincoln

I’ll be sure to stay away from that!

For if I come within four feet of that car,

I’m sure to get spat at!

Why must your yard be so perfect?

Your driveway newly paved?

Hoping God will see your hard work,

and you will surely be saved?

I’m sure it may be hard

From your porch because of the sun’s glint,

But can’t you find an actual productive activity

In your days of retirement?


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